A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell!
In September 2024, Shahram Shabpareh (Iranian singer-songwriter) claimed in his interview with Kambiz Hosseini on Iran International TV that although Ramesh was gay, the two had entered into a marriage of convenience—just on paper—so she could emigrate from Britain to the United States. He emphasized that Ramesh wasn’t interested in men.
Link to interview...
My first reaction was simple: “A gentleman doesn’t kiss and tell.” Until that moment, it hadn’t been public knowledge that they were married—both were famous stars, and they had kept it private.
When someone is queer and closeted, outing them—especially in such a casual, anecdotal way—can feel like a violation. Even more so when it comes from a man, years after she left this world, in a tone that feels careless rather than caring.
It was her story to tell—and she chose not to.
If Shahram Shabpareh truly respected Ramesh, and this was something shared in confidence, he should have either protected that silence—or spoken with intention, and with her consent, while she was alive.
That said, we know he did help Ramesh when she needed it—when they were both artists in exile.
And the truth is, exile complicates these bonds and secrets even further.
What can one say, except to rage against a regime that stole life, choice, and expression from generations?
If the Islamic Republic hadn’t existed, perhaps Ramesh could have told her own story—with pride, with freedom, and not as a side note in some aimless interview.
However, I didn’t need his confirmation.
I always knew Ramesh was queer. I felt it. My gaydar knew it. And I honored it by publishing (in 2023) my books under her name, under her unseen blessing.
Then I asked myself: Should Persian queer stories stay hidden forever?
No. Ramesh’s queerness matters. Queer people need icons. Our stories deserve to be told. But how—and why—they are told matters just as much. If this part of her truth had been revealed with love, with nuance, through a story that held her life with care, it would have landed differently.
But in a celebrity interview? That’s not storytelling. That’s gossip. And gossip has too often been used as a weapon against queer lives.
We deserve better than that. She deserved better than that. And now, all we can do is hold her memory with the tenderness that moment lacked.
Rest in power, Ramesh.
I loved you long before I understood why.
We love you. That’s all that matters.
Thank you for your velvet voice, your signature aura—and now, your proudly known queer spirit.
All love,
Kiana.
💚